The confused Hindu in me

Well going by the customs or birth I am a Hindu a Hindu who has never read Geeta beyond the required bare mininmum. A hindu who never realized that my identity is beyond being Tanay or education or marks. But then comes Godhra and one day I woke up and realize people are killing each other Rapes, loot, murder all in the name of a Revenge. I realized I had to either be with them or against them atleast for my own peace of mind , I realized whatever Hinduism is it cant be teaching murder or a highly contorted form of jihaad. Then I realized I need to acknowledge the fact that as a hindu I need to wake up and say Me and and those killing innocents in the name of Hinduism cant be the same side of the Coin , I realized I didnt wanted to be associated with any religion that can do such inhuman things to fellow humans. I thought a hindu should wake up and say this is not hinduism and this is barbarism. So I did what every coward -- intellectual did at that time started hating Mr Modi and making his thought public and assuming the duty is over. The duty of a Hindu and somewhere the duty of an Indian was lost. Oh yes the hatred with Mr Modi countinued.

That was 2002 now comes 2008 and the last few attacks on Indian Soil , where we lacked I think what we lacked was leadership a will and a determincation to fight and then came the clincher when a close friend of mine said Do we need Mr Modi as a Home Misnister ??? I said hell No , The hindu in me shouted "No way". But then I realized Gujarat is free of communal riots since long , Modi had made RSS his enemy , he got majority and blah blah blah..

I think we need him , or may be we don't or may be Hindu hates him and Hindu loves him but may be India needs him. Or may be its just a lack of leaders so its effectively choosing between devil and deep sea.
But whatever something needs to be done .................... else mumbai will keep on burning in one part of India or other.